I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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