So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
