She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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