Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
