I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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