Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
