look no pants
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
