We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize