I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
