Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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