Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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