just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
