just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sorry about my life...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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