that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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