Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize