great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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