Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
