Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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