At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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