my vag is so smooth its legendary
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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