dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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