best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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