i already hear my dad disowning me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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