i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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