He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had to cum in my sink.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
