YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
