so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
