For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
