look no pants
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
