Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
