North Korea, Best Korea!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
