yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
