i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
