i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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