At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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