i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
