i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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