If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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