you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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