walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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