what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
