We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
