There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
