What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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