garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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