He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
