Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
