Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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