If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
