you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
