I hate all girls vehemently.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
