No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
