I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
a search helicopter?!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
