if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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