He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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