We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
